Closed for Business...

My friend had been talking about this particular restaurant for several days straight. Sunday, after worship, we were all going to go out there and eat until our stomachs would practically burst. However, after arriving at the restaurant, stomachs growling in anticipation, we were greeted by an empty parking lot and a rather rude sign hanging on the front door that read "Closed for business". We couldn't believe it! My friend was especially bewildered as it was his favorite place to eat. Why was it closed? Surely, business was good. Perhaps the owner got sick or something? We never found out why this place was closed, but it was closed nonetheless.

You have come to the same reality on my blog. It's probably not your favorite place to visit, and you won't go away bewildered and brokenhearted like I did at my friend's favorite restaurant, but you're probably going to leave wondering why I have made the choice to abandon my blog.

Some have made this decision simply because they grew bored with it. Once upon a time, it was fresh, new, and exciting. But once that newness wore off, maintaining the blog became tedious and undesirable. This is not the case with me. Or perhaps I am abandoning my blogging project because I can't compete with other more popular blogs, such as my wife's blog at "A Path Made Straight". This is not the case either, as I am overjoyed with the fact that my beloved has an immense fan base, and she ministers to many mothers around the world. No - my reasons for ending my blog are much more complicated than all of this.

In order to answer the question about the end, I must go back to the beginning. And not just the beginning of my blog either - the beginning of my love affair with computers in general. As a young lad growing up in a miniscule ranching community, I abhorred the simple ways of life I saw lived out everyday. Sprinkler pipes, horses, broken down trucks, shovels, and country music surrounded me constantly, and I wanted to escape this way of life. I found a way without even leaving my home - a piece of technology that made me feel like I was somewhere else, more important and advanced than those farmers around me. I desired this above all else, and hung an 8.5 x 11" sign on the corner wall of my bedroom that read "Reserved for computer". I mowed lawn after lawn, and saved every dollar until I finally had it in my possession: a Commodore 64 computer. It didn't do much - no internet, word processing, or MP3's, but I had a lot of games.

The following years were a steady progression of software, hardware, and isolation from the country-world around me. I constantly wanted more, and spent more on enhancing my gaming experience. Finally, by 1997, I entered the world-wide-web, and it sucked up even more of my time, money, and life in general. Everything I could want was at my fingertips, which should completely satisfy a person, but in actuality, it just made me want more. By 1998, I began keeping a journal on my computer. Every day, I pulled up my Word document, and recorded what I had done, reflecting on the events of the day and keeping track of my hours spent in ministry. I did this faithfully for ten years, and found that I became more and more dependent on my personal computer. In fact, I began to discover that I had a difficult time putting together a couple of thoughts unless I did so on my computer screen. I couldn't think unless it was in the confines of a Word document, the end of the screen acting as the edge of my paper, and a blinking cursor, my pen.

My relationship with this piece of technology was strained. What began as something that liberated me from a farming world I loathed, became something that held me hostage! My computer became an idol, something that demanded worship regularly at the cost of my family around me, and even time with my Lord. It required that I check my e-mail constantly, that I check Facebook every few minutes in case a friend updated their status, and that I check my favorite blogs regularly because someone might have posted something that was crucial to my daily life! In short, what started as a key to freedom became a shackle that enslaved me.

Now I have caught up to current day. I look at my sons (10 and 7 years old) sitting at the table, doing some school work. What kind of world will they be raised in? Many children their age are already shackled well - everywhere they walk, they have their cell phones out, texting someone miles away while they ignore their friends standing right next to them. Or they sit in corporate worship, playing their PSP's, ignoring the fact that the very Word of God is being proclaimed in their presence. No - I must show my sons what is important, what is good.

I'm not throwing away my computer, nor am I giving up my cell phone. I am, however, making some deliberate choices that will loosen the bonds that technology holds on me. For about 6 months now, I have been writing in a journal instead of a Word document. I have traded in a mouse and computer screen for a pencil and a hardbound book holding parchment. With this choice, I cannot rely on a red squiggly line under words that I misspell. I have to use a dictionary to check my own writing, and I find that I am spelling better without my reliance on SpellCheck.

I have found that I can think more clearly as well. I can read better too, and it seems that I can follow more lengthy arguments in literature since I have decreased my reading and writing on my computer screen so much, and instead, do the majority of my reading in paperback or hard-bound books.

And now, after reading this post, it should be no surprise to you that I am abandoning my blog as well. I will still be writing, but it will take place in the way that writing has for hundreds of years - on paper. So, this blog is closed, but as I close, I find that my mind and my outlook on life is more open than ever!

A Season for Few Writings

I hear it all the time - "We're so busy", "We're barely keeping up with our schedule", "We gotta take a break!", or something else very similar. A few years ago, I was pretty quick to play the arrogant judge when I heard a phrase like that, thinking that if things get that crazy for a family, they should do something to slow that train down. But, without noticing (ironically because my life is so busy), my life is suddenly pretty chaotic! Not that we're involved in anything bad for our family; it's all good stuff. School work (home education requires a lot of time and energy), full-time ministry, raising a six-month-old along with a busy toddler, and both of my oldest sons in AA baseball make a day incredibly full.

I have not been a prolific blogger by any means, but I feel like I need to give some kind of explanation why I am writing less frequently lately. The time that I would use for quiet, personal reflection seems pretty scarce these days. Yes, I'm still reading God's Word and praying, and even having weekly times of worship with my family. However, I rarely have an opportunity to write down my thoughts in a post anymore. Actually, I sometimes have a hard time putting together a coherent thought! So, out of necessity, I may not be blogging all that much for a period of time. It is my prayer that God will provide for me a time and place for consistent meditation, but until I find that place, I may be scarce!

10 Things I've Been Reminded of While My Wife is Away...

1. She is an amazing teacher.
2. I don't sleep well without her.
3. She does amazing things with my daughter's hair.
4. She is amazingly organized, especially when it comes to planning meals.
5. She does a lot of laundry.
6. She makes our house a place of solace.
7. Our family is utterly incomplete without my wife and youngest son.
8. She cares for her family, oh so deeply.
9. She needs a reprieve more often than she gets.
10. She is beautiful and always smells good.

Famine

Last weekend, our youth group participated in a "30-Hour Famine". It was a weekend where our idols were challenged, and eventually kicked over. What's more important - going to a new movie for $9 or feeding nine children for an entire day? A new pair of basketball shoes, or feeding 40 children for 3 months? The comparisons go on and on. One by one, our idols were exposed for what they were, and our lives were slowly realigned with what was important.

Please read my wife's reflections on this. I am constantly in awe of her ability to share what is important in a beautiful, personal, and poetic way.

The Death of My Firstborn...

For years, I have wondered when this day would come. My oldest son thought the same. Yesterday, on March 5th, my firstborn was put to death, raised to new life in Jesus (Romans 6). It was an overwhelmingly joyful occasion for my family, but also for the large crowd of fellow-disciples that came to witness this burial. Enjoy pictures from the day!

"Time would fail me were I to try to lay before you in order all the passages in the Holy Scriptures which relate to the efficacy of baptism or to explain the mysterious doctrine of that second birth which though it is our second, is yet our first in Christ."

Jerome, To Oceanus, 69:7 (A.D. 397)

A Great Quote on Reading...

“The venerable dead are waiting in my library to entertain me and relieve me from the nonsense of surviving mortals.”

Noted evangelist and preacher, Samuel Davies

They Are Nailed to the Cross...

My stomach was sick as I worked. My hands smelled like dirty metal, and I had a few slivers under my fingernails. Some nails were barely pushed into the surface of the wood; others deeply pierced the cross, thrusting the paper down with no hope of escape. Slowly, I labored to remove the small pieces of parchment pierced by nails from the seven-foot free-standing cross in our sanctuary. I tried to avoid it, but hastily-scrawled words in blue and black kept grabbing my attention: "Apathy", "Lust", "Lying" to name a few. By the time I finished, a large pile of paper and a plastic tub of nails were at my feet. Each piece of paper represented a person and their struggle with sin.

Was it the smell of the wood or metal that made me sick? Did my head ache because my eyes were weary of this accutely focused task? No - I felt sick and dizzy because I was more than a little bothered by this pile of paper which represented the sin of my local congregation.

A couple of Sundays ago, we were reminded that we have a problem. Romans 3:11-18 says:

None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one. Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive. The venom of asps is under their lips. Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; in their paths are ruin and misery, and the way of peace they have not known. There is no fear of God before their eyes.

These were Paul's words to the Saints in Rome written shortly before 60 A.D., but this letter also stands as an indictment against humanity in 2009. There is nothing good, faithful, or just about us humans. Even though we pay our taxes on time, make sure to vote, give an occasional plate of cookies to our neighbors, and show up at church consistently, we are not good people. Scripture plainly tells us that humans tend toward sin not every once in a while, but constantly.

With this in mind, we approached a 7-foot-tall rugged cross during our assembly. In our hands were bits of paper holding words representing our ugliest sins. We were given a nail and then a hammer, and then those sins were literally nailed to that cross.

As a Christian, I talk about the cross a lot. I mention it in my prayers, I teach about it in classes and Bible studies, and I think about it when I take the Lord's Supper. But often, it becomes something that is simply head knowledge, and it rarely touches my heart. This exercise of nailing sins to the cross made the absurdity of salvation through Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection real for me once again.

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:21:

For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

What a paradox! Me, the sinful person that I am, made righteous! Jesus, the righteous person that He is, made sinful! Why? "For our sake..." Simply because God is merciful. Not because I had earned this, but because of God's passion for redeeming and renewing His creation.

Carrie E. Breck understood this well when she penned the words to the old hymn, "Nailed to the Cross" in 1899.

There was One who was willing to die in my stead, that a soul so unworthy might live; And the path to the cross He was willing to tread, all the sins of my life to forgive. They are nailed to the cross! They are nailed to the cross! O how much He was willing to bear! With what anguish and loss, Jesus went to the cross! But He carried my sins with Him there.

And now, because my sins are defeated in the cross, I can live a life of freedom and gratitude for what God has done for me. Thank you for making the ugliness of sin and the beauty of the cross known to me once again.